Tuesday, September 9, 2008


I'm sitting in my house, feeling homesick.

Yes, technically I am *at home, but real home is in NJ.

(By the way, the husband may be the one who actually is away from home, but he seems to be soothing his homesickness by riding mechanical bulls and singing on Bourbon Street. Jerk.)

So, why do I miss NJ?

1. Family. Self-explanatory. Not that I want to be right next door to family (no offense), but an hour drive each way makes spontaneous visits with 4 kids and 2 dogs a real pain in the ass.

2. After 3 years, I'm still one of "those people"- the mean rotten city folk who have brought gangs, drugs, vandalism and Kohls to the area, along with overpopulating the schools, clogging the roads, and flaunting our metropolitan ways. Yeah, I suck.

3. I've discovered the evils of CAs/HOAs, and that's pretty much all they have out here unless you're interested in living on Rt. 611. You know, in between all of the new shopping plazas I've been building with my city folk friends.

4. I want people to respect my language when I walk into a deli. You needn't roll your eyes when I forget myself and ask for Taylor Ham. You know what I want.

5. Jughandles, people! There is nothing good about a lane with the word "suicide" in it.

6. Shop Rite. We do have a couple out here, and I do regularly shop at one. It's kind of small and very cramped, but it does live up to my Shop Rite expectations for value and selection. However, ours is shaped like a barn. Yup, silo and all. And, in the dairy section, there are chicken cages.

The chickens are a big family joke. The first time I went to our Shop Rite, I was really confused by the whole barn motif. By the time I had reached the milk aisle and heard the clucking from the chicken cages, I was completely wigged out. I CANNOT shop in a store where there are chickens clucking at me!

Not willing to become a Weiss shopper, I forced myself back to Shop Rite. Somewhere around the 3rd or 4th trip, I realized that they were mechanical chickens.

They still wig me out.

7. NJ has just about zero regulations on homeschooling. Right now, it's not a big deal. I don't have to report on H or M in PA until they're 8, and J is enrolled in a public school program. Still, I don't want to have to deal with justifying myself to random government officials. I have enough teachers in my family to do that dance with.

8. Jersey corn. 'Nuff said.

9. Okay, I'll admit it. I like the abundance of shopping options. Still, I swear, I am not one of the people trying to bring them all out here to the boonies! I don't think mega-centers belong here. They belong in NJ. And I belong about 5 miles down the road from them. Several of them.

10. My newest reason, discovered just a few minutes ago- NJ is the only state that issues drivers licenses at 17. To be fair, GA is 18 for a full license, but they start giving permits at 15.

I know that I would have no problem making my kids hold off on their licenses if I didn't feel that they were ready to drive at 16 or 17, but I have to admit that it's kind of nice to feel like there's at least one law that I not only agree with, but it can take some heat off of me! I also know that, by the 4th kid, I'll probably be wishing he could drive himself to his pediatrician appointment, but hey.

I could go ahead and write an equal list of reasons that Jersey sucks, and another about the great aspects of the Poconos. I could, but I won't. Because NJ is my home.


kwr221 said...

Don't you have a Wegman's nearby?

Jersey corn - absolutely - and tomatoes, too!

Amy said...

Mechanical chickens, huh? LOL. There's a Shop Rite close to me, but I keep looking over my shoulder when I go to it, and that kind of detracts from the shopping experience.