Sunday, October 12, 2008

I was a messed up chick

I'm not very techno-savvy. I can manage single-purpose things like surfing the internet, playing a video game, listening to my iPod, and baking anything at 350*. Transferring files, switching the t.v. to a different input slot, downloading music, and broiling are all pretty much beyond me. Because of this, I basically live as though there are no CD players in my home, despite CD drives in the computers, DVD players, and XBoxes. My CD usage has been limited to the dozen or so in my car.

Yesterday, I remembered we have a collection of about a trillion CDs, and decided to rotate my car stash.

Anyone who enjoys moody, I'm-a-messed-up-chick lyrics should really own Fiona Apple's When the Pawn... Listening to it for the first time in a long time on my way to and from the grocery store made me smile. Especially with my anniversary approaching.

There's "Fast As You Can", which reminds me of the warnings I gave the husband before becoming the husband.

I let the beast in too soon, I don't know how to live
Without my hand on his throat; I fight him always and still
Oh darling, it's so sweet,
You think you know how crazy
How crazy I am
You say you don't spook easy, you won't go, but I know
And I pray that you will
Fast as you can, baby run, free yourself of me
Fast as you can...

I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your
Heart from under your skin
Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can

And then there's my real favorite, "Mistake"

And when the day is done and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure had fun
So I'm gonna fuck it up again
I'm gonna do another detour
Unpave my path

And if you wanna make sense
Whatcha looking at me for
I'm no good at math

And when I find my way back
The fact is I may stay, or I may not

I've acquired quite a taste for a well made mistake
I wanna make a mistake why can't I make a mistake
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Do I wana do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I'm forced to answer you
I've acquired quite a taste for a wellmade mistake,
I wanna make a mistake
Why can't I make a mistake

There's just something about listening to I'm-a-messed-up-chick lyrics that makes me feel very young again. Today, I'm going to pretend I still have the cajones to dye my hair purple. As long as I can manage to stay away from the drug store, I'm sure I'm safe.

Now I have to go ask someone to transfer some CDs to my iPod.

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