Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Slash's book

So, yeah, I've gone from reading about growing potatoes and raising chickens to rock star memoirs. Call me eclectic. Please.

Anyway, the husband has the guitar that Slash is holding above. Well, one of the 2,000-something that were made. It came with a copy of Slash's book, which I have been ordered to read.

I didn't need to be ordered to read it. I heart Slash. I worship the powers who brought Slash and Axl together. In the 7th grade, I became best friends with a girl who looked exactly like Axl, and was probably just as screwed up in the head. My bedroom was plastered in GnR posters, along with a few of Skid Row and Motley Crue (I don't do umlauts. I became anti-German-punctuation after 10th grade. Plus, I'm too lazy to figure out how to type them.) I was in 7th heaven when my uncle gave me Use Your Illusions I and II for Christmas. My mother was horrified. ("Back Off Bitch?! THIS is what you're listening to?!")

***I was about to edit that when I realized that not everyone would know that 'Back Off Bitch' is a song off of UYI I, and that there was no insult hurling between my mother and I (at that time), but I'm enjoying playing around with how that might be interpreted, and decided to just stick this after thought here.***

While a certain someone was off eating and drinking in fancy Manhattan restaurants and bars, I curled up with Slash.

After 2 days, I'm on page 40-something.

Slash's story is interesting. I don't really know what other word would apply there. Unfortunately, the writer hired to express this story SUCKS. I mean, REALLY SUCKS!

I know it's wrong for me to be such a snob. It's not like I'm a writer. I am, however, an expert at smelling poo, and this is poo-writing.

It's a big disappointment to me, because I adore Slash so much. You know, minus the whole heroin/sex/alcohol/should be dead stuff. But that's what made him who he is/was, and what influenced the career that provided the soundtrack for my adolescence. Minus the whole heroin/sex/alchohol/should be dead aspect. Though I did have a scary run in once with an enormous flock of nasty geese at 2am. I thought I was going to die.

I will finish the book. I know that there are some great, juicy stories to come. They're just written like poo.

Anthony Bozza, you suck. You sucked when you wrote Tommy Lee's book, and you sucked when you wrote Slash's. If I had paid for this book, I would want my money back. After I finished reading it, of course.

Now I must end my own crappy writing so that I can go read yours.


sarah said...

When I was a wee lad, my best friend Bambi and I would play 'Sweet Child o' mine' on repeat taking turns being Axl and the other being Slash. We would then critique the other's performance - how we could see the other between the hair in the face rocking and swaying I'm not sure. This went on for hours, then days, then weeks.

P.S. I STILL love Use your Illusion 2- Estranged is like a fine wine. It gets better with age.

kwr221 said...

Uh, hellooooo?

I *smell? Hey, what'd I do to you?


imfgnspd that's my word verification today

Lorrie Veasey said...

2 Suggestions for REALLY well written memoirs if you have not already read these:

The Glass Castle Jeanette Walls
(crazy parents, poverty, succeed against all odds)

The Final Confessions of Mabel Stark by Robert Hough
(escape from mental institution, become first lady tiger trainer etc)

I loved Slash and all, but really have a thing for Gilby Clarke. Especially after Rock Star SuperNova. I guess if you put anyone in a seat next to Tommy Lee they can look really, really intelligent.