I don't actually believe in jinxes, but I'm getting close.
Just days after making taking this pregnancy public, we got the first trimester screening results back. There was no real reason to suspect any issues. I'm barely 33. I have 4 healthy kids. The ultrasound went well. I went for the screening mostly to see the baby and put my mind at ease.
I knew this screening came with a "high false positive" rate, and I accepted that. Women are encouraged to have additional testing when the results for Downs or Trisomy 18 or 13 are around 1:100 or so. My results for Trisomy 18 or 13 were 1:<5. Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13 are considered incompatible with life.
We did chose to follow up with CVS testing. The procedure was scary enough in and of itself, but I'd do 100 more if I could trade away this waiting. 3-7 more days to go.
I can't really say much more other than I'm numb. I've chosen to be numb because it makes the time pass a little easier. As hard as the waiting is, I'm afraid it may be even harder later.
I hope this story has a happy ending. And I hope I can find the strength to get my family through this if it doesn't.
Not dead yet.
1 day ago